canadianslut:

*sprays febreze on your attitude*

(via fake-mermaid)

internetexplorers:

if a boy calls you “Hot” he’s looking at your body me

if he calls you “Pretty” he’s looking at your face me

if he says “You’re beautiful” he’s looking at your soul me

(via bull-shittery)

quoms:

imagine ‘anon crushes’ in real life

someone runs up to you dressed in like a tarp with a paper bag over their head and yells SORRY I LIKE YOU A LOT before vaulting over a table and sprinting away

(via kanyewesticle)

orgasmic-humor:

ok literally if you take 5 minutes to text me back I will take 6

(via fake-mermaid)